Monday, 20 December 2010

Lovelessness and pornography

Lovelessness - asserts it freedoms to abuse, exploit and worship fantasies upon life, upon others upon ones own body - as a substitute for real relationship - which it knows nothing of - and fears. It knows not an honouring, trust-growing, undefended, and loving relationship and lives out a distorted fantasy life in secret.


Sexual loving is a beautiful language of being. Our bodies are wonderful communicators of loving presence - as we allow ourselves to let go of strategic self interest - getting something or getting away from something - and discover ourselves caring, playing, and holding each other. Oneness is not a climax - it is the very ground of our being - shared. There is so much more to life than what we think we know - and that is experienced a wonder, beauty and a glorious quality of being - of a communioned life.


Lovelessness is a disconnected sense of self-lack in isolation that restlessly seeks stimulating distraction in order to feel alive - and thus deadens itself and calls it 'satisfaction'. It then ups the stakes in order to get a hit or becomes addicted to reenacting empty rituals. Fantasy life that fucks up the capacity to look beyond outer forms and discover the truly wondrous nature of love - because a society that has become fearful has turned its back on love and instead seeks selfishly to grasp at whatever offers makes its pain subside - and hates to open to a light of a shared awareness. It hates to love - and loves to hate.


By being available outside a cultural context of relationship, pornography becomes culturally acceptable currency. Women have their labia cut to look like the girls in the porn. College kids emulating the porn scenarios that are purveyed as if women are dirty slut bitches and fit only to fist, fuck and cum all over as if that were a gift!


When does playing in - and exploring boundaries become the deception and abduction or coercion of sex slaves? Is it when we care more about maintaining our own fantasies than letting the truth of another - or of our self - interfere?


I am writing here because there is a much larger conversation about our sexuality, than socially induced consumerism, that extends a 'culture' of exploitation, manipulation, and usury - and calls it freedom. It is not talked openly - but referred to in comic tones - that let a sort of slapstick, gloss over and sanitize it as a 'bit o'fun'.


Now if a demeaning and malicious lie about you is propagated as if it were truth - you would not subscribe to it - nor would you nurture it - nor would you defend its right to be equal to the truth. Instead you would subscribe to that which promotes appreciation of truth, and invest your care and value in it. You might struggle long to come to your senses though as the cultural pressures suggest that its ok to fuck yourself up - or indeed anyone else - because we are free of outdated and phoney moral sensibilities - and "We are all individuals".


Distractions that serve to cover the dissonance of human life do not really give freedom - they bring hollow emptiness and addiction. However, with those whose full intent is to wilfully assert themselves as they are not - and declare themselves self-content - it is vain to argue. Life is a teaching - learning adventure - and we are free to learn through pain as well as joy. Forgiveness is a real release from guilt when one is willing to accept and share it. No one is damned but by their own refusal.


What we demonstrate in our lives - is the culture that we share - particularly to those who we welcome into the world and pass on the ways we know. All are free to learn according to their own heart's guidance - no matter what experiences we have - we ultimately choose the meaning it has for us.


But the Meaning that is uncovered that truly serves us all is not one of dressing up in the dark so as to play out our own psychodrama - but of a genuine kindness, care and attention.


I see the raising of the curtains of a false privacy as the disclosure to ourselves of ourselves - and this IS a real opportunity. Because amidst our self spun script of a life we act out as if it were real - and discover perhaps a lot later - that we chose against our own heart's desire.


There may be a lot of money in selling porn - but there is only an undermining of commonwealth. Is there a place for it? Of course there is - but if it is not kept in its place it usurps ... the capacity of Soul to feel and know life directly.


Thanks for your attention

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