The article linked above looks at violent abuse of wives - by their husbands.
In which the minds of the women tend to denial and justification of the an unlove as if it were an expression of love. How can my heart not go out to those in confusion who suffer hurting and being hurt? But it reaches out in willingness for life. In this call, I learn a better way.
The basis of loving relationships is an integrity or wholeness of being, but our society and education rarely uncovers such to ourselves - and if anything - tends to a subtle reinforcement of self-lack, inadequacy and powerlessness - and a consequent drive to an imaginitive reparation in terms of a private ego.; to become in some way respected, powerful, significant, validated.
From such a distorted sense of oneself, hurt, shame and hatred arise, and the mind in such pain seeks to offset or mitigate its dis-ease upon scapegoats; the use of others as supporting roles in anunrecognized and therefore unhealed insanity.
The nature of the mind is that what it extends or expresses, it validates to itself - and when it finds a mutual agreement with other minds it trades such a sense of validation as if it were real. Yet using others to get a private sense of self-validation is not love and no real realationship is present.
Awakening to our essential integrity is not about winning justice and validating our victimhood, but is opening to a deep honesty of being in which we no longer impose our story upon events and demand life support our story - but we see our story and we feel our feelings without shame or judgement - so as to let ourselves into the presence of 'being': - the silence of willingness to listen and learn anew for direction and the unwillingness to act out from, nurture, protect or grow - the life undermining scripts that never bring fulfillment or joy but always poison or deny us.
The fears in our hearts are fundamental - not to our being - but to our sense of ourselves in the world. So much so, that our sense of the world is a shifting insecurity, weak, undependable, hostile. We forget that what we give out is what we share - and we see enemies everywhere.
Love says “No!” from an awakened faith in wholeness. The way in which that is expressed will find its appropriate expression - but the what of it is an integrity of being that truly serves the whole world - and establishes conditions of restraint, unavaillability and true education.
A true education is healing or wholing - and yet it is the demonstration of such integrity that teaches - and not the ideas alone.
The mind that acts as if outside the heart is lawlessness. If it is put out on others it cannot be recognised - for there is a false love in seeing the wrongdoer and feeling right that deceives us. Still the mind and listen in the true heart . Such an Intimacy of Being is With us all. Yet the abuse and violence in our world out-pictures a scenario within our minds in which we hold to a willfulness of thought and intent that cuts off, denies and distorts our own heart .
This is not a call to be sinful - but a call for immediate healing. Do not love the voice that tells you that you are unworthy of love’s presence.
Give it your disregard.
Attend to the living.