Ultimately blame is simply an attempt to offset self hatred, but them becomes a kind of 'pass the parcel' game in which everyone seeks not to be the one on whom it lands, and the more one plays the game, the more currency blame seems to acquire by the fact of its usage.
The framework in which blame seems meaningful and useful, operates unquestioned, unconsciously, as if it were our self protected.
Blame is to true responsibility what punishment is to a genuine rehabilitation, that is, it substitutes for and undermines any true communication or outcome. Blame it is a feel-good ritual at the expense of truth - indulging a self righteous hate on a part at the expense of the whole.
We are not independently being, but we ARE cocreatively expressive of the life that is in us, and this is to say we share a mind - whether it be one mind in self-illusion or one mind in truly shared purpose. The attempt to serve two minds that are mutually exclusive of each other, is to perpetuate the 'human condition', of limitation, suffering and loss - as a mutual basis of all our experience. But there is another way of looking at everything than this, and another outcome follows.
The use of imposed or insinuated guilt as a leverage on behaviour is always a manipulation. Coercive intent is an expression of fear. It is not honouring, does not extend and grow trust and denies the living presence and worth of the targeted person or group by asserting the framework in which they are judged.
Love also knows how to say "No!" - and how to use proportionate force on behalf of the wellbeing of all. But to do so, it must be expressing a willingness for health and not a righteousness against a believed or percieved evil other.
To communicate truly is to allow to awareness all the perspectives and beliefs that are energetically present in willingness for honest relationship. Whenever we allow this, we experience a shift in the situation or relationship, that is more aware and more inclusive than what was operating before.
An honest relationship must be both within ourselves and with others. We are either congruent or playing a mask. We need each other's witness as we need to offer true witness to all. (Or we blindly believe our own presentations). The fear of real communication is of shameful exposure and rejection. It is also the belief that love is weak and has been, and will be, killed by fear. Yet both of these beliefs are fearful imaginings of loveless thought.
The idea that one can define and then control life has some merit at the stage of holding a point of reference amidst a fearful chaotic uncertainty, but that point of reference is not more than a stepping stone in which to access a greater perspective. The true dominion of the heart is not coercive, but it an expression of wholeness in all its parts.
A natural harmony of relations is never a result of coercion or dominion of one part over another, but of a shared purpose.When we are individually and collectively 'sharing' conflicting purposes, the parts seem to war. This is not a condition to be overcome but a condition of alarm in which to recognize we are out of true, and listen or recconnect to life at the heart.
None of what I write can translate meaningfully to a mind that sees itself as autonomous, independently authoritative and separate from life and each other. For such a mentality, wilfulness, fear, guilt, conflict and pain reflect back to the mind its own foundations - and justify the continued practices that give rise to their reoccurrence.
Wisdom is a matter of discernment, and this is a higher or more primary quality of the heart. A complexity of thinking is the natural ally of manipulative deception - whether within our own mind or in the world at large.
Honesty of being is not something that needs propping up as it is simply already true - and will extend itself naturally whenever conditions of exclusion are released of allegiance. Truth is not ours to judge but is ours to share.
An imaginative, wishful and deceptive intent is personally enacted and often socially supported, but has to be constantly maintained and protected from exposure - or it is undone of validity.
The mind of the self in its assertion of specialness, is a highly vigilant and capable defence mechanism. Though it seems to promise protection and fulfilment, it undermines peace of wholeness and hollows out our lives, our relationships and our world of the inherent Meaning, that has been called the 'Soul'.
When we think we see the mind of deception, division and attack in others, we become certain of our self against them or what they stand for. This is where we need vigilance for truth rather than against evil, for in this primary error do we cast out our own shadows upon the other in attempt to be free of a self hatred.
Self hatred is mistaken, no matter what circumstances are associated with its exposure in our mind. For our living self is not ours to make and groom, to a becoming of something greater or more worthy. Such is the imaginative play of self concept or self image. We can become willing expressions of witnessing to Life according to opportunities given us - and this embodies a transcendence of self-specialness.
When what we have cherished turns out to hurt us, do we not reevaluate Everything anew? Putting aside our own thought and all experience associated with it - to presently enquire with a fresh curiosity, finely tuned for truth?
Blame is always self harming. The sacrifice of life for the raising of an illusion to prominance is a temporary 'hit' of a sense of self vindication.
We each and all teach and learn by our own choice. In our social agreements as to what constitutes truth or life or the good, we find ourselves out of true, for the current situation is not designed or intended to fulfill our own definitions of reality.
Life in concept is no substitute for the Lived and the Living. Awakening at the heart is not describable to the mentality of control, but is altogether recognisable as it is, to its own.
Love's awareness is neither earned or deserved. Nor is it withheld or disallowed but our thinking makes it so. Judement and blame is a way of maintaining an illusion of control amidst a loveless intent.
For every action their is reaction.
But as the mind of reaction is left unused, it weakens from disregard.
The Movement of Wholeness is discerned only in active extension of trust. But this need only be an instant, in order to allow a shift of perspective and a step in which integrity of being is embodied.
To seek for the willingness and light in another instead of the blameworthy, is to undo one's own defence against love's awareness, now.