Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Post 9/11 comment to comments


Is there a tacit understanding here that this commenting and even any outcomes as to what "the truth is", is somehow irrelevant? I say this because the issues are often subsumed to personal agendas, with derogatory names or remarks at the end of otherwise well communicated comments from many facets of the issue.
I have trust in life - perhaps because I have had the shit knocked out of me and somehow stayed in for the ride. I don't have trust in human thinking to appreciate or understand anything Living - excepting perhaps rooted in true service and inspiration, where it is aware of its own limitations.
I feel there is more to the destruction of the two towers than I can account for in terms of how and why, regardless of how and why. A sense of unreality that I felt at the time and since, was also a sense of the rising global awareness of an unreality that is surfacing in the world in all kinds of ways. I feel it is an unreality of the world as we define it that is dawning. I don't mean the unreality of our feelings - but of the structural idea system that gives rise to our experience of the world as we know it. I guess I'm talking apocalyptically but not in a doomsday sense. More in a sense of a passing away of an illusion of a world - and its self as separate from the Living Reality in which and of which Everything has its being - even our wishful wilfulness with its dramas and pains.
Of course our personal experience is dear to us - It becomes the story of our lives. But experience can also be delusional - when it is framed within an invisible context or presumption that effectively distorts and filters Everything.
My daughter killed herself some years ago, I felt undermined and altogether undone from below. The image of Sauron in his crumbling tower came to mind as a symbol of defeat. I hadn't thought of myself as in any sense akin to Tolkien's dark lord. But I came to honestly see that the phrase 'my daughter' held a meaning for me that was as if ‘my life’ was my own creation and my daughter was taken from ‘my life’. We live our 'my' as if it were true - but nothing Living can be grasped except in vain imaginations that rob us of the life we can share.
Symbols work in the mind much more powerfully than verbal ideas. There are those who try to use this against their own kind for their own ends. But when we are triggered by anything, we can also pause and release the energy of reaction. Why? Because we don't have to play the role in the script that we are seduced or baited into. There is so much more to life than what we think - but we are as attached to our thinking as to our first born child.
The world - life - will not conform to our attempts to command and control but rather will draw us into ever more complex attempts to manage and manipulate everything, until we exhaust all resources and are undone. But the nature of deception is that it passes for real and mistakes help as hindrance.
USA post 9/11 has been somehow neutered. Obviously not as a military arm of whoever gets to set the agenda - but as a nation in which freedom and democracy once meant - or was believed to mean - a living trust shared. The shadow also fell in the UK. The ‘war on terror’ is a bald faced contradiction that no one felt able to publicly speak against but almost all adopted as if it were currency based on something real. It showed the fear of power.
The stuff that we carry deeply and perhaps unknowing, that is jack in the boxed into our lives when they are broken of their promise and our desire - is the stuff of betrayal, abandonment, loss, and anguish - with all the guilt and hatred that that expresses. Hard to live through - that's why society works to keep the lid on. But it is also the opened place where we find greater honesty, great compassion, a more real basis for living than getting any kind of thing or experience for ourself.
Time doesn't heal. Loving heals. Vengeance doesn't heal - but feeds and seeds war and suffering. What is the basis for trust? Honesty. 
What is the value of trust? Foundational to all else! When we see another as unworthy of love's honesty, we are already participating in throwing the first stone.

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