Noticing choices being made now - The awareness of which discernment grows

Noticing choices being made now
The awareness of which discernment grows

A simple short article in my inbox...

https://protonmagic.substack.com/p/renormalizing-that-things-are-not/

...in the ongoing themes of a 'broken reality' in terms of our current world, set an opening comment that grew to be a current summary reflection:

 

 I would use the word condition or habituate -rather than re-normalise.
For the illusion that is invoked to 'make safe' from inner conflict is a deep seated 'learning' or training - such as to run 'automatically' as conditioned reacts running the masking distancing private sense of control - set against loss of face and self in  overwhelms of feared chaos, humiliation, damnation - self hate or self judgement. The inner gaslighter.
Invested self illusions are defended as self, and this applies collectively in the sense of the need for mutual and social reinforcement, for everything is interpreted through the lens of the current self-definition - which is by definition rendered unconscious by the focus in self-illusion to which reality is fitted, filtered, ruled and divided.
This is not wrong and is implicit to the human experience AS a gift of unfolding experience and perspective within the act of extending Creation - for that is the nature and function of mind. Self-revealing through the extending of idea. What we give sets the measure of our receiving. But within the frame of masking personalities set in and through archetypal pattens of separation trauma as self-survival is a fragmented and dissociated derivative of a Whole that could never 'go away' or be broken or become that which breaks us. The split of mind generated the body as a mask and weapon - in place of communication of and in life. We are life - but not as we think we know it.
So we can think and choose that what we think is true to experience that reality, but when a private illusion is set over the connected service to the whole, we think to think alone and lack and fear can then operate as a reframing driver of the creative urge to live - 'to go forth in the gathering and flowering of uniquely mingling qualities of being'. Always new is another word for eternal, as the becoming is not a process for getting. This we forget when setting goals that discard or deny our presence to regain a sense of lost or denied love, peace or power - that becomes an idealised image of a 'love' set by hate - for pain and loss is hateful to experience and can be set in image as caused by Other, by a Past, or by a fear-modelled threat of enemies re-enacting past pains that may be so buried as to have never become conscious to our conscious choice. We are simply deeply disturbed - as much by not having an articulation or understanding as by the felt dissonance rising up. The mind wants to reset 'normal' in the sense of re-solidifying its 'reality' and yet the experience of the disturbance in some sense ruffles the waters of a narcissistic fixation in thinking that runs conditioned.
So here we have the opportunity and the call to remember who and what we are, beneath the 'normalised' adaptation to pain of life set in whatever patterns of coping strategy we inherited, acquired or developed, at the same time as the uncovering of dissonances that had been masked over as if never happened or erased and escaped by a focus set over or against them.
Do I want or choose to know and be known truly or in a masking sense of self presentation?
This choice is liable to being framed in binary terms of good and evil, right and wrong - if truth is made a weapon for getting (it can never be so).
To know ourself truly is but self-honesty in trust of truth being true, so the noticing of the choice being made is upstream to the choice to withhold, withdraw or mask over. And that is the willingness in which poor choices can reveal their underlying self-definitions and beliefs to a direct appreciation of true or false - that is no longer belonging or of any functional meaning or use. There is no process to recognising from a fresh appreciation of living, but there is a liability to make one as a more 'spiritual' or 'better' handle for presenting ourself to ourself and world.
Noticing is what naturally occurs when blaming is not chosen. But guilting is invested in as the primary means for manipulation of self, other and world, and separation trauma of the split-mind is identified in or shaped by grievance on which defences and even a sense of self depend.
Readiness and willingness to face and address our grievances is the desire to heal. Without the desire of the heart, attempts to solve, escape or overcome may seem to promise but actually deliver a repackaging of problem masking in a false 'solution' with the attendant investments and defences against bring to question.
The end of fragmenting illusion is then the recognition and acceptance of the desire to heal - to let truth be revealed, as the renewal of our mind - which is not as we think we know it!
Teaching and learning cannot be escaped, but we can teach what we do not want as if to get rid of a negative self-sense to an external or othered sense of reality - and then boost our defences when unrecognised resonant reflections 'violate' our 'normal' of terms and conditions that are ultimately reduced to "I WANT IT THUS!". Grief and grievance cut deeply in our life when the 'unthinkable' reveals such deep attachments cannot be grasped or conformed to wishes.
But the love that is revealed in the cut is truly felt, but in the frame of loss.
This is another form of the choice, to know and be undone to love's self-honesty, or to let the love in - even at the moment of the mind's reset to regain some sense of self, reality or order.
Love is not a mask of manipulating presentation, but to such an invested image will seem hateful, heretical and threatening. Thus love cannot enter without welcome. But it also follows that love waits on welcome - not time and circumstance of conditioned permissions!