Self-evading denial as the toolset for a compartmentalising bubble

https://off-guardian.org/2020/05/17/the-online-double-bind/

I appreciate Curtin's writing as communication in the heart.  I am not being told what to think, but feel an invitation to alight in felt meaning. A reflection upon significance. Human being instead of tooled thinking.

I also see that tooled or technological thinking is tooling us, by our persistence of the habit of its 'normal'.

The nature of a habit is of an invisible pattern-response that may even be immediately seen in hindsight - with self-judgement used to compound it - because it is the habit of judgement set over a quality of communication that is effectively denied awareness.

It is said, 'wherever you go, there you are!'.

This has application to all attempts to escape ourselves - that may seem to follow new profits and premises but always deliver us to the evils of self-judgements framed in the failure, betrayal of  - or lack of support for - whatever or whoever we 'trusted' to deliver us from ourselves.

Self-evasion or denial is the underlying 'toolset' for a compartmentalised  bubble  or de-fenced and locked down sense of lack, isolation and vulnerability that is set in armouring against communication by setting or lockstepping selected and rejected 'meanings' as non-negotiable reality.

Rather than rest in felt qualities of meaning that spontaneously share or communicate as life, is a masking charade of substitution in coded social contracts of avoidance and distance.

So while I could engage in one of the themes suggested - of an internet that we grow by using it on the terms it has been weaponised and marketised to operate. I am more interested in looking at what is here unfolding as our experience, but with new eyes.

I chose to enter the digital realm for the first time in 1998. As a self-employed craftsman I was not forced or obliged to - but in choosing to see where and in what ways this new social 'movement' intersected with who I am, is a curiosity of my native being - rather than being set in reaction to an impinging reality.

For a year or more it was both an explorative expansion of a tool that is also an environment - without network connection - in which I acquired some sense of its ways of working in principle if not in detail - so as not to 'be afraid of it' or of my own explorations as likely to mess it up, break it (or compound that sense of learning failure that goes back to early school experience).

What we call our mind is a tool that is also an environment. I see a process of dislocation and displacement running - and repeating - through history that goes back to pre-historic mythic archetypes that are no less active today even though layered over with rationalising structures that seem solid and settled - until such 'reality' changes beneath our feet and we are deeply disturbed.

While I have embraced digital means of communication - albeit for my own reasons and therefore at least somewhat on my terms, I come from a process of spiritual experience that was activated within deep disturbance and has been accepted as a willingness for reintegration of consciousness from the starting point of a recognition of misidentification that allows curiosity for true alignment and communication to move as my being or experience - instead of a character in drama, struggling to solve his own dilemma from the double bind of his own thinking.

Communication as wholeness in all its parts is of a different order than interpreted filtering to a locked down sense of self-seeking under threat of fear and pain of loss.

Communion is closer in some ways as a descriptor for resonant alignment - but there is within it the practical reconnection of the heart and mind as one - instead of a tooled mind to which the heart must sacrifice or be sacrificed -as the lesser evil that escapes from fear of total loss.

Qualities of being are different to particulars and particles - as indeed the principles are the refined condensation from which life as love in expression is seeded. But nonetheless must become subject specific in application to communicate their presence as the art and science of being ourselves, together and apart both. Balanced and unbalanced, both, in and of a living expression that can not be possessed or controlled without invoking the experience of dispossession and subjection - that we experience as a battle of wills - whether set against adversity or enmity - and upon which has run the development of a tooled mind and its masking personae. In the 'world' it seems as if this war can be won, no matter how persistently the carrot and stick induce the ass to keep moving. Claimed victories are defended against revision as a basis for righteous but proprietary or priestly rights and powers. That become a defended conflict management system locked down in its own self-conditioned parameters as the only option left for the survival of the mask of control - asserted as narratives that run ahead or redefine as if hindsight tells us what is or who I am.

The 'world' of the model is the matrix of our own making by our own doing - resulting automatically from the thoughts ideas and beliefs or definition accepted and running as 'true' of us. Or needed to be assigned true, for survival on the terms of and conditions of a set of demands that go back to conflict, disturbance or in general terms, 'separation trauma' - that sets our learning and adaptation within a 'world' of masked distancing through interactive personae, that effectively hides and covers conflict by displacing it to 'other', 'out there' as well as to past and future grievance and fear - all set in seeking answer... anywhere else but where the loss or breakdown of trust and communication is.

A script, set into motion, runs its course, until opportunity for release and releasing, allows the freedom to be truly moved. Presence is truly moving as felt qualities rising to awareness. There is always another way of looking at this (situation) - but in order to release the blinkers of the past that set a future like itself - at our expense, we have to recognise we are using them. The 'world' as we make it - is reflecting feedback to where we are coming from. No one has ever escaped their predicate. But we are free to release demands and controls in exchange for the intimacy of being, truly moved.

The nature of re-visiting what we hate in ourself is of course hateful - and often lost to the immediate imperative to get rid of it or escape it by any means to hand. But this is the result of what we give to fear and control, rather than what we bring to a willingness for the peace that only truth extends through you.

A world in which “Everything is backwards" is not exclusively 'out there' as the fault of others, not in here as 'all my fault' - but arises from lock-stepped identification with a mask set against overwhelm or undermining that at the time of its making was a self-protective gesture of a love without self-differentiation. The denial of reality under masking self-judgement is our own substitution, running as opposition to life - excepting and unless it meets our terms and conditions.

To appease or oppose the mindset of denial is to feed it, and lose our peace - or clarity of awareness by which we think or feel to know anything.The con-troll is within our own mind as the choice not to know.

Don't feed the troll! - is wisdom. But this is lost the moment we take 'troll' as a pejorative blame-assignment against self or other.

Who would make truth a weapon has given love to weapon in the cause of a broken, lost or betrayed love.

We all have our own patterning within this script, and it sets us against each other, against life and against the true of our self. I add that it can be extremely compelling and initially ferocious or threatening to our sense of abidance. But fear given power does rule the mind that then controls by limiting and dividing to set rules over life instead of for the living.

Living the 'territory' of our lives is not the 'world' of a narrative conflict and control - but the love or 'qualities of being' that we live or share in, regardless the conditions and circumstances that arise.

For to hold open the willingness for truth in the living is to  relinquish the wish of the role of its proprietary arbiter.

If we recognised and accepted the true accounting and cost - would we choose to pay it?

If we release allegiance to futility and meaninglessness it has to be by wholeness of a meaningful embrace - not by further investment of identity in opposition as if to signal virtue we might wish we had.

The virtues of being are inherent to being, but to embody life is always subject specific.

There are no panaceas - and the wish for them is the willingness to bring all the ills of unresolved conflict into the frame of the 'answer' to all that we are most inlined to 'get rid of' or 'make go away' rather than truly address. Especially when any truth allowed, would uncover a house of cards without substance or foundation. Living a lie is a terrible torment and burden. But it is from this recognition that we are 'turned about'. An honest recognition is the grace of noticing from which a reintegrative perspective can find welcome, abide in us, and grow consciousness  by repurposing what was made in fear to align in and serve Purpose. That life is purposeful by nature has been assigned to the fight-flight of physical persistence. This works a 'lock-down' of an Infinite expression that self-isolates to masks over and mask out the Intimacy of the Infinite - that we assign to 'Space' or background to our drama.

If the Script had no purpose it would not be running, but the purpose we align in remains our freedom.

Waking from drama is the capacity to shift perspective. This belongs to our heart - not to our mind.

The heart has been smeared and substituted for by weakness, sentimentality, and appeal to grievance.

In great disturbance, it may become obvious that strength is of the heart, not of the lockstepping mind of fear and control.