https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/nov/30/talk-about-death-openly-dying-bereaved
I posted this as a comment to the above article on the Guardian (comment is free) but they chose not to publish it - and removed comment options since.
I don't feel that the words we use IN THEMSELVES are the matter.
What matters is that our word is one with our thought and deed.
Anything and everything can be said ABOUT death without being able to speak what it Is - perhaps because in our current framing death of an OTHER is experienced as IS NOT.
The breaking of the 'continuity' of a world in which that one was integrally participant is a sudden transition to a world in which they are NOT - excepting the trace of their lives in our own. For until it is our own release of such a continuity of self and world - we live on.
If you are embarrassed in the presence of love you will hide your fear, shame or unworthiness in terms that gloss over or actively deny true felt relation - not merely with the one who dies to our world, but to our own intimate resonances - which may well be an alloy of love and hate because such is the nature of the personality level. The death of another may open a greater gift than likes and dislikes or patterns of affection or grievance. For the love that they are - regardless of the life that they lived - is revealed as a Silence that we cannot speak or define - but from which we emerge with the gift of them in our heart - insofar as we are accepting and abiding of a love that cannot be grasped, held onto, controlled or possessed.
There is much in our current framing of life that has it backwards - no wonder then an insane world. The word you give in your heart is who you are accepting your life, self and world to be. If we make a 'dead world' of evasions and deceits how can we then recognise it in love?
Life in the body is an idea of becoming possessed by the attempt to possess and control. Life is through the body, even as Meaning is through the word-form and not IN the image or idol of any expression of an Unspeakable Infinity that is truly an Intimacy.
If Consciousness is shifting perspectives of experience - then we do not really GO anywhere - excepting within a given or accepted framing of perspective. Note that I do not GO to this website - no one ever does. Virtual frameworks of reflected meaning serve the purpose we give them. Giving a true word is restoring the capacity to receive it.
